Category: Context

Stories of Youth Worker Burnout #ycwchat (*doesn’t just apply to youth workers)

On By JamesIn Context, Discipleship, Youth ministry, Youthwork, Youthwork management, Youthwork MethodsLeave a comment

 

On Monday 1st March , the theme of the twitter chat (#ycwchat) was ‘Burnout’ .

It was by one of the most contributed to chats, and it was suggested that I write up the responses to the questions that were given. I have tried to include every response, as it was said in the chat and I’ve included all the contributors at the end of this piece.

Many will sadly relate. Many will relate in many forms of ministry. Many are not in roles because of it.

 

Responses to this included:

  • I think I now see it as when I am unable to function at a healthy level. When I notice lots of unhealthy tendencies creeping in I know I’m close to burn out. The enneagram has been helpful in understanding when that is better.

  • Burnout is a state of overwhelm that leaves me unable to function other than to do the absolute minimum. It is usually a result of overwork, or an inability to distinguish where work should stop and rest should begin, over an extended period of time

  • Unhealthy levels of work, stress and bad habits. Busy doing stuff without achieving anything. Not going tadks full attention

 

  • Yes, i only recognised it after the event, it was a state of constant adrenaline, caffeine dependency and brain fog. Felt constantly under pressure.

    • (which was replied with) : I think often we don’t see it (esp 1st time around) until afterwards… So hard to spot it for ourselves until we know what it feels like – 

  • Yes. So many signs. But I remember coming home from a totally positive, normal pastoral chat with a young person and just sitting on my hall floor and crying for two hours. Then found that was happening most days.

  • Yes, 1st time 8 years ago when I was doing too much (understatement, really!). I had a distinct moment of ‘Oh shit, I am not OK’ in my local shopping centre, I felt utterly overwhelmed & unable to think straight. My brain was catastrophising & in full on panic mode

  • I didn’t realise it at first. I understood ‘burn out’ as not able to do anything at all, took me a while to realise you can have a slow burn out. Really wish I’d understood what to look out for, I’m really keen to read about it.

  • Never officially told it was burnout, but in retrospect makes situational sense. constant anxiety, insomnia, chest pains (A&E multiple times), brain fog, panic attacks etc.

 

  • Too many expectations on youthworkers, and not a culture of being able to say ‘No’ and create boundaries, also very little awareness on emotional health, eg codependency.. these are also things that I might add

  • Not having strong relationships with other organisations to support your work with young people. Being able to discuss, share and meaningfully connect young people to a network of resources and opportunities gives you as a worker a sense of community and connection too

  • Overwork, poor supervision and for me constantly justifying my role as I was on a 1 year contract    (think that’s another thing about the setting up of a role, needs to have some security as well as good supervision and decent salary etc… )

  • Lack of ability to solve systemic problems that you are seeing or affect structural change. Lack of control over working conditions. (and, poor management and supervision). And related: trying to be young people’s functional savior.

  • It’s going to be diff for diff people bc what’s overwhelming for some isn’t for others. In my case it was an inability to say no along with the approach of ‘if you want something done, ask a busy person’. I had also had a run of life changing events medically, Which I hadn’t given time to process properly & consider their impact before plunging back into ‘normal’.

  • Mine was not having clinical supervision. had supervision, but it was no at the level needed for working with YP with multiple needs and Mental Health stuff going on

  • Workaholic ministry culture. Often I’ve seen this modelled by clergy, and expected of them by their workers, without understanding that workers lack the autonomy and positional power of the clergy person, so gets more toxic as a lifestyle as it’s passed down….

    • We are FAR too quick to idolise ‘being busy’, but I’ve also seen books written, by men, on how 2b not busy. One I started but had to put it down as it was SO obvious that his ‘not being busy’ was supported by others around him (likely a woman/wife) doing all the things he wasn’t
    • poor management and supervision practice and relationships also play into this. And, frankly, gender/race/age dynamics can too
    • I’ve sat and chatted with curates who are struggling desperately with the exact same dynamic, desperately waiting until they’re free and get to BE the incumbent. I’ve tried to help them see that for youthworkers, they never have the hope of that way out.
    • So exploring power dynamics and agency on both counts is critical. There is a lot of ‘unboundaried’ practices and conversations.
    • Yes. And by the times curates get around to be the incumbents, they have quite possibly internalised unhealthy ways of functioning – if not for themselves, in what they expect from others.

 

  • Having very rigid structures that don’t allow for things to change when they need to change
    • Oh goodness me YES! Managing change is another thing, like conflict management, that should be part of a manager or supervisor’s toolkit but too often it isn’t there..

  • Poor Management and Supervision

  • *so* many insightful answers to A3 (thanks all). For me, it is often a mix of ‘white knight’ complexes, poor resources, lack of positive role models and a complete inability to say ‘no’.

  • Lack of care and dignity in the support offered to workers through difficult or intense situations

  • An inability to say no! Taking on too much responsibility. Thinking that everything depends on you. Trying to be the saviour and not the midwife

  • YES all of this for me too… There’s definitely all the stuff about poor supervision & management but there’s also this feeling of all the responsibility, it’s unhealthy but I think I might have been quite difficult to manage/supervise!!…..I was a dream for most line management in that I could not say ‘no I don’t think that fits with my role’ but if anyone had tried 2 say ‘you’re very busy, are you sure you want to add this?’ I would prob have ignored it. Now learned 2 ask that qu of myself & loved ones

    • Supervisors have responsibility and cannot opt out. What we did 1,5,10,20 year’s ago is different. Experience can teach wisdom.

 

  • Developing sustainable rhythms. This has been a gamechanger (til COVID ruined it). Scheduling rest and downtime regularly for before we really feel the need for it. Resisting the busyness culture that sometimes feels like it judges a refusal to negotiate about rest

  • Setting up proactive relationships with people able to speak into the doing/resting dynamic, and who have permission to (gently) rebuke me if I am taking too much on.

  • YES and YES… I really struggle to hold the work/rest boundaries but I know that if I don’t I crash quickly (bc of a combo of previous burnout & medical issues that have reduced my capacity). I love my work so stopping it is hard

  • After burning out for the first time i reflected (eventually, when I finally admitted I’d burnt out) on why it had happened and what had triggered it. Also (not wanting to mention it again) deepening my understanding of self through the enneagram

  • Running and being ruthlessly attuned to early warning signals in my body. Proactively setting boundaries (boundaries are kind!) and trying to work on not fixing situations out of an overblown sense of responsibility.

  • I’ve recognised it’s not all on me to be resilient & so have become much more discerning about who I work for, ensuring they have robust trauma informed systems of care in place & a culture that promotes wellbeing. A luxury many don’t have I know.

 

  • I took a full break from everything for a short time, then went back to work but carried on a break from volunteer youth role, eventually a yr later left the church where I had been volunteering……longer term I have the phrase ‘you are not indispensible’ written in as many places as I can think of, & although I’ve not completely avoided it again (in another volunteer position!), I am able to spot the signs and am more able to step away

  • Counselling, mentoring, left the role after it became clear that the external factors couldn’t change to a workable level, got a different and WAY more healthy job (actually worked only 4days a week for a year or so after, with really good line management and support)

  • I think I was saved by virtue of being forced to take 3 months paternity leave half a year in. It was enough of an emergency brake for my brain to kick back into gear. Then longer term: actively seeking out people who ask awkward questions, also more broadly, I found reading around the area of Family Systems Theory helped me understand how I was functioning within an organisation.

  • I am struck by how many variations of ‘kind of forced to stop for a while’ there are in the answers (would be mine too). Putting everything down and then carefully choosing what to pick up again can be real wisdom.

  • spoke to people, became more honest with myself, created a little more space, started spiritual direction (one of the best ministry decisions I’ve ever made)

  • being kinder to self. Realising my limitations. Connecting.

  • Offering spaces for soul and physical card like retreats.

  • I learned that while I can DO ANYTHING, I can’t do ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME, or even some of the time… I learned that I am not, nor at any point should I be, indispensible. And I learned to say NO, some of the time at least..

  • Share the load, both work load and talk about the burdens.

  • All those non-sexy things that people say you should learn (conflict management, time management, self-reflection)…you should probably make time to learn!

  • One final thing, and I am very cautious about saying this as I know some people are in really horrible work conditions and I don’t want to minimise that, but…a lot of the time when I am frustrated at conditions ‘out there’, it is a sign that something is not right within me.

  • yup – I think I have more empathy with others who are struggling and/or not showing themselves in their best light.

  • That I’m human! Also the need to take time out for self-care and soul-carespend more time reflecting.

  • Put a team together carefully and prayerfully. Realise my limitations

This summary comment appeared. It kind of sums it all up doesn’t it?

First time I’ve joined #ycwchat and really both saddened and encouraged by so many knowledgable responses on Youth Worker Burnout. Thanks for sharing.

 

Thank you to all who responded to this conversation, including Jenni Osborn, Sally Nash, Mike Rutt, Dean Pusey, Sarah Long, James Yates, David Bunce, Melanie, CrommWhitt, Jen Johnson, Andy Campbell, Nicky Hill.

Youthworker – Do you need to step out of the drama triangle?

On By JamesIn Context, Youth ministry, Youthwork, Youthwork management, Youthwork MethodsLeave a comment

Hey Youth and community worker, do you know about the drama triangle?

No?

Well, here it is:

This version is taken from this article ‘Are you stuck in a Drama triangle’  

The Drama triangle, first identified by Stephen Karpman in 1968, is a model that describes the interplay of three stereotypical egotistical roles people take up the heat of the moment, in conflict. (Tombs, Joel in Grove Youth Series, Y40)

The question I have for you, after you have had a look at it above, is, do you recognise where you put yourself on the triangle lines in any of your youthwork practice?  For example:

Do you appeal to being the victim to your trustees and governance?

Do you see young people as ‘victims’ and in need of rescue? 

Do you want be the saviour to ‘fix’ the church? or wider society? 

Are the young people displaying challenging behaviour and disrupting your youth group? 

What do you communicate to funders? 

 

So much about our practice can be about being in or resolving conflict that at times wearing the cloak of one of these roles, or assuming into one of them can be common place. When it happens Swords and sides are drawn.

What about the ‘roles’

What happens when we assume roles of rescuer and fixer to young people?  We are saying that they are unable to ‘fix’ themselves without us.. and this leads to codependency . It puts the over onus on you to assume all the responsibility for everything. Most of the time you’ll be spinning 27 plates anyway, so one more isnt going to hurt..is it…. is it..??

 

in the role of ‘rescuer’ you are very likely to forego your own needs. You are too busy plate spinning, rescuing and keeping the show on the road, whether project, church, group, ministry, charity, to attend to yourself. Often thriving in the drama. Its probably where you thrive, until you burn out. (My next blog is on burnout)

 

Alternatively, you could assume the role of the persecutor, though this is unlikely, you’re more likely to judge others as this and assume being a victim…. however the person who is the persecutor/or who assumes this role, is likely to think that it is everyone else fault. This person does not take any responsibility for their feelings, needs and actions. Some might say narcissist. They can become dominating, controlling, aggressive, angry, critical, and highly manipulative. They fear being the victim, which restricts them from being vulnerable, and love nothing more than powerfully tearing people apart and exposing others weaknesses to prove themselves correct.  In assuming a victim role, is this what your governance really are? Probably not. Or… might you actually work with a church leader, manager, CEO who is like this? It is possible, actually it is.

 

Assuming the role of victim, if you do this, or you see young people in this light, then that person is viewed as the following:

  • Victims are not fully in touch with their own needs, therefore they do not voice them assertively
  • As such, the victim role is associated with feeling powerless, depressed, oppressed, ashamed, hopeless, victimised, dependent, sad, or angry
  • These feelings may be used to guilt-trip others
  • Often they will look for a rescuer, someone to save them from their circumstances/victimhood
  • They may also unconsciously look for a Persecutor (see below) to validate their own victimhood
  • Due to their feelings of helplessness, they will often struggle to make hard decisions or take action to solve their own problems
  • Victims find their power in their belief that they are blameless.  (These point are taken from this article) 

 

If you see yourself as a victim in a situation, then as the above suggests, playing powerless is your game. How many times do we consider ourselves as youthworkers to be the oppressed group? Its like that joke about the lightbulb. We’d rather cope in the darkness, than take power and switch on the lightbulb.

Can you see how none of these roles are in any way healthy?  or could lead to satisfactory outcomes in conflict or youth practices?

So if this is the drama triangle, how do we get out of it..?

Well the first thing is to see it and recognise it. Awareness of it as it happens is the main first step to be honest. Are you, Am I, showing all the repeated patterns of assuming victim hood, or taking on the rescuer codependent role?  Have a think about why you assume that role? Continuing a path of self awareness might help you see this, do you seek perfection and then assume that if you dont take responsibility no one else could do it as well as you? or is it that you like to feel needed? or something else. Already though, if you can see the pattern you are more on there way to stepping out of the triangle than where you were before…on it.

Tombs in the Grove booklet (y40) suggests that by saying ‘Im not the victim’ or ‘ im not to be the rescuer’ (like usual) – them this creates options for saying no (to responsibility) and working out how the conflict/task can be managed elsewhere. If I am not a victim, and I have more power than I realise, then what action might I take?  If I do not see myself as rescuer, instead I am someone who works ‘with’ young people, not to rescue, then what might that cause you to do, say, behave and act differently?

Once you can see it, observe the pattern. Breathe and take your time in how you respond to things, Try not to become defensive, take responsibility (if you are assuming victim) and back off taking on more, if you are sliding into rescuer.

Get out of the FOG.

  1. Remember the acronym FOG. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, Guilt. If you feel any of those feelings, consistently, in a relationship, you are most likely dealing with a manipulator. You need to get out of the FOG.
  2. On the other hand, if you are trying to make another person feel Fearful, Obligated, or Guilty, you are the manipulator and are not operating with integrity. Be direct, honest, and seek help to communicate differently.  (Taken from this article, which gives 10 tips on how to remove yourself from the drama triangle) 

This article is also helpful – How to step out of the drama triangle

 

It can be so easy to talk in terms of the drama triangle even in the every day language of youthwork, maybe more in youth ministry, when theres a tendency to ‘fix’ and rescue the ‘lost’ young people, to take on the saviour complex for the community, the parish and the family who are ‘broken’. The drama triangle is nearly always the default language of the emotionally unhealthy. Its also evident in how ‘Boris saves’ Christmas and how the media portray many groups and situations. Drama is what the media thrive on…

Can we not view young people as not in need of our fixing, and gifted and our role to work with them, be with them instead?

Part of self awareness emotionally might be to see this, and how it plays out and step out of it.  How we deal with ourselves and conflict without resorting into ego roles, and resolving in a way in which both parties can win, is something we could and should be modelling in our organisations and then enabling young people to be good at conflict management too.

 

References

Y40 Grove Series, Ten essential concepts for Christian youth work.  (Nash, Whitehead)

Recovering from Emotionally immature Parents, by Lindsay C Gibson, 2019

Theres more on this on This Wikipedia site too 

Do have a look at the nurture development site to the right, for more on Asset based youth/community work.

 

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From Isolation to Community; 5 questions with Author Jenni Osborn

On By JamesIn Context, Youthwork, Youthwork management, Youthwork Methods, Youthwork StoriesLeave a comment

From Isolation to Community: Youth Work in the Covid Era and Beyond by [Jenni Osborn]

 

 

In the month of the release of her new book, From Isolation to Community: Youthwork in the Covid era and beyond, I caught up with my friend Jenni Osborn to ask her about what the book is about, and what readers of it can expect, here are my 5 questions with Jenni I hope you enjoy!

So Jenni, What’s It About?

The book is about youth work during covid, it tells the story of what youth workers up and down the country have been doing during the pandemic to keep in contact with and sustain relationships with the young people they have been working with. I spoke to a lot of those working with young people in different contexts, some of whom were friends and others who responded to the various cries for help on social media! All of whom were inspiring in some way or other. I reflect on the work, and also begin to talk about what needs to happen next. It’s really hard to see where this pandemic might end, or at least how we might learn to live with it as we do for flu or other highly infectious diseases. But we can begin to consider what sort of a world we want to rebuild and hopefully I’ve begun this conversation.

What prompted you to write it?

It was actually because I began a podcast in the summer of 2020, with the theme of supporting those who support young people and so was talking to many amazing youth workers who were telling me their stories about the work they had carried on doing all through the pandemic. I began to think that someone should try and capture the stories. I had been considering writing another book, after the Grove Booklet on Mental Health and Young People which was published in 2019, and this felt like the right time to do that. It all came together very quickly in the end.

and what did you discover?

One of the things that really stood out to me was just how fascinating it is to hear the stories of what has been happening. My aim was to gather these but I hope that being given the opportunity to tell the story was encouraging for each of the people I spoke to, and I hope that reading about what others have been doing is inspiring. Some of my favourite stories have included hearing a real life ‘School of Rock’ story of how a youth worker new in post at the start of the pandemic inadvertently ended up taking on the youth band and this has broken down all sorts of barriers; then also the groups running in Cardiff who were given seeds to begin growing in their own gardens or window boxes and who have ended up growing food that the young people never thought they would do, this organisation have been given a ‘secret garden’ in the grounds of Cardiff Castle to create an allotment/garden and I would love to go and see what they’re doing!

Was it all just food deliveries and zoom? 

Of course, across the different organisations there were both similarities and differences. The provision of food in one form or another was a strong theme, as were doorstep deliveries of packages, as was the ubiquitous Zoom. There was a surprising mix of response to using Zoom – some groups had found it almost impossible to engage any of their young people through video conferencing whereas others found that it broke down some of the barriers around accessibility for young people to join in with something they might otherwise have struggled to attend.

I talk in the book about the different ‘ways’ of doing online youth work. I think it’s important to note that online does not always mean video conferencing calls in small groups but can also mean streaming content via Instagram or YouTube, it might mean producing Reels or TikTok videos, Facebook Lives or interaction through any number of gaming platforms or indeed using Discord, which is a 3rd party chat app, to call friends whilst gaming. There is no question that ‘online’ youth work is now an essential part of our youth work practice and I don’t think we should drop this entirely in favour of face to face, unmediated by screens and servers. A balance is required however, because there is no doubt that human beings were created for eye to eye contact, physical interaction and the warmth of in close proximity community, much of which is impossible with online interaction.

What about outdoor youthwork, wasn’t it safer than inside? 

I also talk about outdoor education or youth work – ostensibly this has been the preserve of the Scouts, Guides plus the myriad of other uniformed organisations and adventure organisations like The Outward Bound Trust. I think this is something we all need to consider, not just because it’ll be the most ‘covid secure’ way of getting together for some time to come, but also because of what someone else recently described to me as the ‘magical idea of young people going for a walk with a trusted adult’. Being outdoors in the natural world is good for us, on so many levels, we’ve been broadly discouraged from being outdoors and seeing other people for the past year and that will have taken its toll on us all, including young people whose residual fitness levels might have dropped through the floor, whose anxiety levels about being outside and possibly ‘bumping into’ other people have gone the other way, right through the ceiling. As a long-time champion of young people’s sense of wellbeing, these things trouble me and while we have the opportunity to begin to think about what our youth work might look like in the immediate future, we ought to be considering these things.

and where can we find your book?

It’s available in Kindle format on Amazon here soon to be available in paperback format too!

 

Thank you for sharing this Jenni, do buy her book and enjoy reading the experiences of other youth workers in the UK in the last year, in a way its a historical snapshot of youthwoork at this time. From Isolation to Community , how youth workers responded during this time. If Covid has prompted and urged a development of community, in a time when youth work had started to revolve around individuals, case working and certification, then a push to community and awareness of this importance may just be a good thing.

Detached youth work is back! (& here’s some ideas and resources to help)

On By JamesIn Context, Detached youthwork, Youthwork, Youthwork MethodsLeave a comment

 

Agreed.

It may be out of necessity than choice in a Covid-19 infected world.

But there is no doubt about it, there has been a steep rise in youth workers, projects, agencies and church groups beginning detached youthwork in the UK and world in the last 6 months (depending on the lockdown guidelines per country)

Yet well done!

Well done for not waiting for young people, well done for being prepared to go out and meet young people, to be vulnerable and amongst young people at this time. Good for you. Seriously.

 

As a help to you, I thought I put some links on this post to help you as you re-start doing detached, or start from scratch, so if you want to read and reflect a bit – then do click the pieces, or you can search this site for any detached youthwork articles too.

Some of the benefits to doing detached youthwork are here: Advantages to starting detached   im so convinced, I clearly wrote the same piece twice a few years apart…(here’s the other one)

Why young people might prefer to meet youthworkers on the street is in this piece, and their ideal qualities are here

Heres my A to Z on detached youthwork

Reflecting on ‘the street’ as a space to be a youth worker is in this piece

a piece on developing Theology on the street is here, for any faith based workers

Thinking about developing conversations with young people is in this piece  and this one   – on the streets its about cold contact, and this piece might be good to reflect on

A piece on what its like being a detached worker is here – 35 ways you just know you are one….

What makes for a successful session on detached youthwork – is at the link

So there’s a few links to some of the pieces ive written on detached that might help you, as you begin detached youthwork, or restart it

If you would like further resources, I have them listed on this page   – there are links to the Federation of detached youthwork, FYT, and many useful other websites and books that could help you.  These links are also on the right of this page, and the Federation are posting information regularly on guidelines. The NYA is regularly updating information on Covid-19 too, and their page is on the links to the right.

If you would like some training to help, then I am taking requests for this, and can facilitate via zoom, as can a number of other people. Do contact me here for details

I hope that some of this is helpful for you as you start, do be in contact if I can be of further help to you.

 

The Street as the space to be a youth worker

On By JamesIn Context, Detached youthwork, Youthwork, Youthwork MethodsLeave a comment

 

 

The street

the place

to gather

with mask

and queue

and sit awkwardly, together apart.

The place that’s virus safer

than inside,

just.

The place that’s abuse safer

than inside

just.

The place that’s free

than inside,

just.

The place for freedom

to make and shape.

That place

between

the other places.

 

So

stop.

 

Be

in it

longer,

be between,

stand

in the place of

between and

live its moment of tension,

of freedom.

 

Youth worker

in

the

space

not parent or police

constructive creator

not monitor

or divider.

 

Youth worker

in the

space

be between

go between

in between

don’t be safe

be present.

 

 

(James Ballantyne, 2020)

 

 

inspired by the following:

 

The youthworker takes care to understand how some people adopt this place as an area to flee to, a place of protection, transition and risk taking, as a place of expression and demands, a place of learning and work, of pleasure and suffering ….The youth worker must be sensitive to the culture and way of life of those who they are rubbing shoulders with in this area of ‘the street’  (International guide to the methodology of street work throughout the world, 2008)

 

 

 

 

Learning from the aphids on my Chilli plants

On By JamesIn Context, Discipleship, Uncategorized1 Comment

I am now in the fourth season of growing chillies, I planted the current crop from seed in January, and now 25 (sorry 24, I gave one away) plants adorn my small flat, taking up window sills and the balcony.

I think ive eaten 6 green fruits and I’m giving the chance for the other fruits to ripen and turn red, unless I need them for cooking.

But the first year I tried to grow them from seed I failed. They just didn’t take.

The second year I was given a cutting from my sister in laws mum/dad, and the one plant grew and supplied me with over 100 chillies in a year.

But they nearly didn’t make it.

I looked at the plant every day. It was in a prime sunlit position.

I didn’t realise it was being attacked.

What I didn’t spot, initially, was the aphids.

Because they hide.

But also because I wasn’t looking for them

I thought the extra green/white dots on the flowers were normal.

I didn’t see them.

(And I bet you cant see these ones either: )

Not yet.

Not until just before it was too late.

Or just before I could do something about them.

Spray purchased and they got eradicated.

Plant saved.

Chillies harvested.

Aphids destroyed.

But only after I could see them.

I could equate this story to Sin, and especially a note I remember why old pastor telling me, that its always the little foxes that spoil the vine.

But I’m not going to do that.

Because sometimes it’s easier to notice Sin and ignore it, than it is to notice abuse and put up with it.

 

One of the most key questions about Domestic abuse is said to the victims:  ‘Why did you stay?’

instead it should be ‘what was manipulating you not to leave?’

It takes more than 28 calls for help to leave.

 

Thats when its dawned enough for the victims to know that they’re in something so terrible, and they want a way out.

 

But on other occasions the abuse is more like the aphids.

So subtle.

 

Call it gaslighting, emotional manipulation, psychopathy, or sociopathy. Language varies.

 

Either way; It’s not a pair of scissors sniping away at a chilli plant, but almost invisible aphids.

 

Until the plant has lost its spark, its reason to be.

Aphids attack the new plant. The leaves that are growing. New life susceptible.

Emotional abuse attacks any new growth. Any opportunity for light, joy or growth. It is jealous.

Until there’s nothing left in its core.

The plant cannot escape. But it needs help. But it might not even know it.

Needs the help of those who have previously bought the spray.

Needs the help of those who know what they’re looking for.

Those who can see.

These fourth season chillis are growing in an environment where i have an aphid spray of water and soap ready to hand.

Theres no shame for chilli plant to have aphids. It just needs help to have them eradicated.

Its not the fault of the plant.

Ever.

 

References:

Children of the Aging self-absorbed: (2006) Nina Brown

The Gaslighting effect : (2018) Reva Steenbergen 

The Carl Rogers Reader, (1990) Kirschuenbaum, Henderson

Humankind, Rutger Bregman (2020) : A review

On By JamesIn Book Reviews, Context, MissionLeave a comment

“Can we dare to think people are kind, and shape organisations around this view?”

That’s the question Rutger Bregman examines in his latest book Humankind, and it’s one that anyone involved in youth and community work like me wrestles with on a daily basis. But is Bregman’s optimistic analysis grounded in reality?

For anyone who’s read this piece on the “Real Lord of the Flies,” the gist of the first half of Bregman’s book will be familiar. His premise is that despite news reports, social media, politics, religions and ideologies that suggest otherwise, “(for the) most part, people, deep down, are pretty decent.” Furthermore, he says:

“If we had the courage to take this more seriously, it’s an idea that might just start a revolution…once you grasp what it really means…you’ll never look at the world the same again.”

Bregman supports this conclusion by reference to examples that stretch from Britain in the Blitz to Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, but suggests that – whilst crisis times do bring out compassion and collective kindness (no doubt he would have added the coronavirus pandemic to his list if the book had come out a little later) – these qualities actually emerge more often and more regularly than we might admit.

This chimes with my own experience working with young people in challenging circumstances in the UK, but there’s an obvious rejoinder: if kindness is our natural state, how come we behave unkindly at least as much?

For Bregman, the answer lies in the rhetoric of the media, in how groups behave when not under stress, and in how people in positions of power form and shape policies about economics, politics, health, education and social care in ways that override our natural inclination to be kind, or reinforce the opposite form of behaviour.

Historically, Bregman says, Homo Sapiens triumphed as a species because it was more cooperative than others, with hunter-gather communities developing an equality of resources and a preference for flatter leadership structures over thousands of years – so human evolution was less the ‘survival of the fittest’ than of the friendliest.

But the switch to more complex forms of civilisation based around agriculture and industry changed these incentives and increased the incidence of hierarchy, competition and war, all of which require dehumanisation in one form or another. Bregman examines the atrocities of the 20th Century and the psychological experiments that purport to explain them, but concludes that there is little evidence to show that human beings are ‘naturally’ violent, selfish and animalistic, though circumstances (and their manipulation) can certainly make us so when the opportunity presents itself.

In a chapter entitled “Why good people turn bad,” he looks at the inner workings of the military; the corrupting effects of power; the legacy of enlightenment thinking about humanity which focussed on the negative, racist and individualistic traits in people’s behaviour; and how sociopathic leaders are elected even in democracies that are populated by people who try to be kind to others.

“Time and again friendly people hope for better leaders,” Bregman writes, “but all too often these are dashed; the reason is that power causes people to lose the kindness and modesty that got them elected, or they never possessed these in the first place. In a hierarchically organised society the Machiavellis are one step ahead. They have the ultimate secret weapon to defeat their competition. They are shameless.”

So much for the diagnosis; what about the cure?

In the latter part of the book Bregman shares examples of organisations, political systems, schools, prisons and police forces that have shaped themselves around a positive view of humanity. In education, for example, play is a necessity in human development because we are born with playful natures, and children learn best when left to their own devices. In health, “According to the WHO, depression is now the number one global disease. Our biggest shortfall isn’t in a bank account or budget sheet, but inside our selves. It’s a shortage of what makes life meaningful.”

These cases show how appealing to play, dignity, autonomy and goodness is both humane and successful. The Norwegian prison system, for example, works because it ‘turns the other cheek,’ so prisoners actually get better than they deserve. In a maximum security prison with 250 drug dealers, sexual offenders and murderers, prisoners are allowed to talk, read, swim, ski, shop, form rock bands and churches, and cook together. Their own community maintains all these facilities, growing a quarter of their food with all the equipment they need, including knives.

The evidence shows that a luxurious prison does not engender high reoffending rates – prisoners don’t want to go back – but it does change attitudes in a positive direction, so when a prisoner is being released back into the community outside, every attempt is made to ensure they are not a ticking time bomb. Every offender is a future neighbour. In fact reoffending rates are half those in any other prison system.

Whilst it costs more to accommodate prisoners in this way, the long term benefits are enormous. “A humane system is not only brave, but is also less expensive” as Bregman puts it, “Our response is more democracy, more openness, and more humanity.” Or as Tron Eberhardt, the warden of a Norwegian prison says, “Treat people like dirt and they’ll be dirt. Treat them like human beings and they’ll act like human beings.” Bregman is not naïve in setting out these stories. They aren’t perfect, but in a culture or society that’s craving ‘effectiveness’ it also pays to be nice.

Bregman is reassuringly gentle in his approach, tentative at times with his criticism of mainstream beliefs about people and posing his questions reflectively. The overriding theme of his book is that kindness and reconciliation should not to be written off as exceptions, but rather celebrated as the norm – and used as the centrepiece of politics, economics and society going forward.

To that end he concludes with ten guidelines or principles, including “When in doubt, assume the best” – since avoiding being conned might mean that we’re not trusting enough of most people’s good intentions; and “Think in ‘win-win’ scenarios,” since we live in a world where doing good makes it more likely that everybody benefits, as in the Norwegian prison case shows.

Another principle is “Ask more questions,” and here Bregman displays a harder edge to his writing. The ‘golden rule’ doesn’t go far enough, he says, so we shouldn’t assume that other people want to be treated in a particular way (that’s paternalism). Instead we should ask how they want to be treated.

Empathy drains us, he continues; it wears us down because we can care too much about everything, especially when we spend so much time on social media. But compassion for others is healthy, so long as we maintain a distance, and clear boundaries, from individuals who are suffering. This gives us the energy to be constructive and support others effectively in their own independent choice of actions.

Bregman’s point is that we should use our intellect as well as our emotions to understand others and the decisions they make. Sometimes we have to suppress a desire to be nice, and hear from the voices that might appear unfriendly in their demands for change. “Try to understand the other, even if you don’t get where they’re coming from,” he advises.

His ninth principle is the imperative not to be ashamed of doing good, since acts of kindness are contagious, as we can see in reactions to the coronavirus pandemic across the world, from painting rainbows to flourishing mutual aid schemes and care for our neighbours. Finally, we are urged to “be realistic,” meaning not to be cynical but to make realism a courageous act in a cynical ‘mediocracy’ – to do and be good, because that is our nature. “It’s time for a new view of humankind.”

At a time when Covid-19 has sparked many a conversation about the ‘new normal’ and the wave of protests around Black Lives Matter has created an unprecedented experience of collective unity, Bregman’s story of a new reality built on kindness comes at the right moment. It’s a hopeful history of our past, and the hope of a new history that can be consciously created if we set our minds and shoulders to the task.

Kindness as an abstract emotion is not enough, but when used as the fulcrum of rigorous enquiry and concrete action it is both powerful and creative. Ultimately love can win, and often does.

Thanks for reading; but I’m really not much of a writer

On By JamesIn Context, Youth ministry, Youthwork, Youthwork managementLeave a comment

Its nice that you think so; but we’re not much of a Youthwork project

 

I really don’t read that much 

 

Im not really an expert on doing youth work, not compared to…

 

The staff think that they’re never doing as much as they could do

 

Im not that much of a blogger, no, its just something I do to keep me busy

 

I just don’t think we’re doing very much, it never feels like were getting anywhere

 

I hear variants of these things alot

I say them to myself sometimes

I hear them from big projects

from clergy doing amazing community work

from youth workers on their own

from people who are being kind alongside other people

From those who always want to be even more to others

 

WHY?

 

Why do we think we’re not as

good

busy

effective

experienced

 

Why do we not think that we are enough?

because actually..

We don’t have to be experienced to be kind

We don’t have to be big to be significant

we don’t have to be anything other than be people who act with love, kindness and create places of safety, healing and hope for others.

We don’t have to be accomplished to be real

We don’t have to be anything other than ourselves

 

My friend.

You are enough.

As you are.

 

Image for post

 

Its time to walk a path of loving ourselves

That we

That you

That I

am enough

Persons in process, projects in process yes… but we are still enough

 

Buddy Project on Twitter: "You are enough. You are good enough ...

 

Thought you might need to hear this today.

 

 

If people are good – why doesn’t the church believe it? (A theology of Humankind: part 3)

On By JamesIn Context, Discipleship, Mission, Theology, Youth ministry, Youthwork and TheologyLeave a comment

This is the 3rd piece in my series on reflecting on the nature of Humanity, inspired by Rutger Bregmans latest book, Human kind (2020) which has helped to affirm for me what I had often experienced as a youth and c community worker, the reality that, basically when you get to know people, and meet people, they, in the main are usually pretty decent, and shock, horror, this goes for the young people who are met in groups on the street.

This has brought to my attention the messages permeated within the churches I have been in about the nature of humankind, and where these have come from. In my previous posts, Part 1 and 2, I shared the aspects of Bregmans work in which he alluded to theological concepts and his views on them, including Augustine on sin, and how an enlightenment influenced reformation brought about a negative view of humanity. In Part 2 I focussed on the way in which an organisational structure, the distance a leader has from human contact, and the power they hold, increases that negative view.

I wanted this piece to be different. Or at least I wanted to bring in a few different conversation pieces on this subject, exploring the same theme.

From an early age in an evangelical church I was an avid reader and studier of the New Testament, in particular of Pauls letters, the one that always struck me is in Romans 7, where he says the following:

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

And, as I read Rutger Bregmans book, this was the first passage that came to mind.

What I had always been told, and taught from this was that Pauls inner questioning here was a pronouncement on the entirety of humanity. Id heard things like – ‘if even Paul couldn’t do good, then neither can we’ or ‘even the good that we do, is to be attributed to God,  its not really part of our nature’ – These were messages I had heard, and still hear to this day.

But then, it crossed my mind, that these verses had always been interpreted to me as being universal pronouncements, about the state of humanity, and this is implied in the previous section (once sinned, all sinned), but what  if this section isnt as pronounced universalism as the default probably evangelical view is?  What if this is Paul speaking personally? – what if this is Paul speaking personally and reflectively about his own experience? The same Paul who has been healed and saved, but still is in positions of power, and may even have threads of that same power corrupted personality in him. Maybe, and I ask tentatively, Paul is seeing that other people do good, but he cant, maybe it takes him such an effort to do good, because he has too much power, and distance from people, that its his own struggle, and attributes any goodness to God (not his own). If Paul indeed does himself do evil as a default – what might this say about him?  might he be so corrupted by power, that evil is his default, a frustration, clearly. Now, it could be that Paul is striving for an unviable perfection, and that now and then he still does evil, but in the main he does good things, helpful and cooperative ones – but that’s not really the tone of his monologue is it.

As I think about this even further, maybe this is not about humanity in general, but how he as a leader is unable to do the good he sees. It may then be a warning about leadership not about humanity as a whole..

The thing about Paul, undoubtedly, is its influence.

The doctrine of Original Sin is not one I want to discuss here at length, what is interesting though, is that theologically a conversation about the nature of humanity in the a faith community and writing is rarely exclusive of a conversation about sin, i.e that man only has a sinful nature.

One clear example of this is in Wayne Grudems ‘Bible Doctrine’ , even though he refers to some early church fathers and philosophers about the nature of goodness, stating that even Isaiah affirms that ‘all our righteous deeds are a polluted garment’ (Is 64,6, Grudem p216). Theres lots to argue here in regard to taking Isaiah in context, but, for now, what I am describing is some of the threads within my own evangelical upbringing that gave rise to a negative view of humanity, and then also, by default a negative view of myself, and why. (Well, the why is obvious) .  So, far and this is Grudem main thesis, though, Man is not very much outside of being Sinful in nature, and this, has been inherited down (Grudem, p217) (For an alternative view of original Sin that is both redeeming and helpful see Danielle Shroyer, ‘Original Blessing, 2016)

This is undoubtedly a massive subject, and not one to tackle lightly. I guess for me, I wanted to share a bit about where Bregmans view took me, and what I then reflected on theologically, or started to, and the implications this has. I feel like I have had an epiphany in reading Bregmans book, and desire to see fellow humanity not in the divisive, negative views of the media and trust people more. But how often is the ‘world out there’ – outside of the church seen as ‘dark’ or ‘evil’ – when the reality is much much different, and is this just a powerful trick to frame groups and manipulate?  What might be at stake for the Christian faith if there’s more actual goodness in humanity that credit is given for, and sometimes done with better intentions than the churchgoers themselves are?

The other side of this is the one about dependancy. Or more specifically about a dependancy that’s based on pejorative feelings of guilt  (if you want a list of all the ways to feel guilty, then read Grudem yourself..) , and its then  guilt and shame that become motivators for belonging, and manipulating ways to instil allegiance and dependancy. The worst example of this I have seen recently is in Neil O Boyle book, though it also appears in addiction related ministries and other places. Neils view of young people is pretty low, but is nothing different to an evangelical one, from an ivory tower and with limited contact of young people except to be the saver of them. Its an easy view isnt it. People are all sinful, and only sinful, and here’s the view of a saviour will heal and redeem all of this, just believe and belong. It makes for a simple message, the four spiritual laws, clear christianity with a simple message, and easy for a youth ministry team to buy into, easy to write onto a tract, and I know, I used to door knock with them. But, like everything in life, nothing is that simple, and the gospels and the story of Gods redemption isnt.

That I guess is why theology, beyond proof texting is important in youth ministry. And maybe starting right is not just about thinking theologically, but also about humanity and what is to think of young people, and ourselves and humans.  This piece feels like it represents more of my past thinking, but in a way that’s what Bregman caused me to do, have another look back, and question. And think. And review what was the power in churches caused by feelings of sin and guilt, and in particular, where some of  Pauls writing on humanity created universalisms widely accepted, that affected both my own faith, my early ministries and my life.

What if churches could believe that humans are good?

And what might that mean about sin? – what needs to change?

Part 4 next week folks….

References

Bregman, Rutger, Humankind, 2020

Grudem Wayne, Bible Doctrine, 1999

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

On By JamesIn ContextLeave a comment

At some point, it crossed my mind, that we might start to think about taking down the rainbows from our windows, just like we stopped clapping, I know friends who already have, and their words about this have shaped some of what I have tried to convey here. For what the rainbow symbolises feels nothing like the promise, the hope, and the reality of the last 6 weeks.

25 pictures of the beautiful rainbows brightening up homes around ...

Is it time to take the rainbows down? 

The ones that colour the town

The pictures of hope and promise

unity and people that we miss

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

For what did they symbolise?

A dream, a promise, a fight?

Colour at the end of the night?

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

Hazy days of April, when we pulled together

did what we could, for each other

Rainbows of hope, goodness and care

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

they’re stuck in the mind

A time during the crisis

when we acted more kind

 

Is it time to take the Rainbows down?

From windows in the land

even though we still cant

shake each others hand

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

Society did shake?

when people were valued

it was never fake

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

for the virus has revealed

that humans are more kind

than governments believed

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

Its become more about me

Where others are sacrificed,

for idols of economy. 

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

did we go through that for a Big Mac of mince?

the rule breaking, entitlement

and gaslighting ever since

 

Is it time to take the Rainbows down?

where is the light?

Those who survived, have done it despite

A leadership so wreckless and treats us as shite

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

we all went through the hassle

of keeping the rules

aside from tourists to Barnard Castle

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

For division and confusion rule

When decisions are made,

that treat us as fools.

 

Is it time to take the rainbow down?

When money talks, hope is tattered

What did we hope for

And do we feel shattered?

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

They symbolised hopes and dreams

that never came, though that’s what we wanted

new normal, new world, so..

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

And replace them with something more concrete

Than pictures in windows

And life more complete?

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

hope hasn’t gone

 lets make it more loud

Unite over neighbours, unite over equality

 

Is it time take the Rainbows down?

still love our neighbour,

protect and care, 

act with love, as we’re made too

kindness isn’t rare. 

 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?

Is that promise still there?

it is if we find it, 

along with dreams can we dare?

 

Shall we paint far more rainbows?

and fill life with colour and zest

and create a society

that treats others as the best

 

Lets add far more rainbows, 

keep promises of hope

and love, care and faith

believing in better than 

oppression and hate. 

Is it time to take the rainbows down?