Learning from the Streets

I was so nervous today. I had to make one of those really difficult decisions and choices. It was hard. Really hard to do.

It was out of my comfort zone.

I had the usual build up, the worry, the ‘what will others think of me’ thoughts.

I had to just do it.

But it was difficult.

And it was this.

I had to say no to someone. 

I had to say no to someone, and also say ‘yes’ to myself.

I had to say no to someone, and also say ‘my time is important’

and. it . was. ok.

But it was hard. Hard to value myself. Hard to say no.

In my last two posts I have asked the question about youth workers and codependency, and churches and organisations too.

The presiding message in them is that as youth workers we may recognise that we are more codependent than we realise in the way we act, the way we believe in ourselves, and the way in which we make decisions of our time. Ultimately its about what or who we value.

So, let me look you in the eye, yes you, and ask you the question

Who is the most important person in your youth work/ministry?

The wrong answers include..

The church

The Church elders/minister

The young people

The organisation, my boss

God

My partner/spouse

 

Can you answer this question and actually say, that you, you the youthworker reading this, are the most important person? 

Because you are. 

You are the most important person in the youth work. 

You. 

but…. but…

nope. not something else. You.

So it’s time to believe this. If you don’t already.

Its time to act like you believe this too.

Because if you dont value yourself and act like you are important, then other people around you won’t. You’ll be the doormat that everyone treads on.

You’ll be the one that is exhausted caring about other people more than yourself. And that, if you believe in Jesus, isnt what Jesus said. He said love your neighbour as you love yourself. The two are linked.

Love yourself means value yourself.

You are the most important person in your youth/community work.

It is more than ‘self-care’ because this is the stuff that underpins it. How you value and see yourself. How you love yourself.

So, learn to say no, to others and yes to yourself.

Learn to value your own time, and not feel guilty about it.

Learn to give yourself permission

Know the difference between being present with people, and controlling them , helping beyond what’s actually good to do.

Learning not to have to react to every situation that needs a helpful person in it, or that ‘only’ you can do well. 

Learn to respond, not react. 

Youthworker/ community worker/ minister… breathe. You are doing, and being already amazing. Stop. 

You are important. 

Your feelings are important. 

Your heart is important. 

Your life is important. You only have this one. 

Your soul is important. 

You are enough. More than enough. 

Time to act like you believe it. And fake it until it feels natural.