Learning from the Streets

Can I be honest with you about something please?

Actually really honest, honest about something that I think we need to think about a bit.

That’s ‘We’ in the youth and community work ‘world’ and also ‘we’ in the what seems to be ‘post’ pandemic narrative about churches and community spaces.

I want to have a conversation about ‘Safe Spaces’.

Not warm spaces, warmer hubs or prayer spaces. Safe Spaces.

Can we have a chat about this please?

Its a space. Yes. Its a hall, a room, a church, an area.

It could be a ‘zoom’ room, or teams gathering too.

So, that’s ok then. Space is fine.

It’s the ‘Safe’ thing.

Who exactly is this space.. safe for?

and.. Who gets to decide that it is a safe space?

Sometimes I’m in a training setting and the leader will say ‘This is a Safe place’ – but im thinking, I dont actually know any of the other 100 people in the ‘zoom’ room. What makes it safe.. what makes it actually safe..for me? Is it safe that I dont know what question is going to be asked? Or what im about to encounter?

Over 12 years ago when I was a street based youth worker in Perth Scotland, one of the pieces of feedback from the young people whom we as a team encountered on the streets was that ‘because of you the streets feel safe’. In that instance being present, being trusted, being known and identified as a supportive adult, meant that for the young people they identified safety. This surprised me, for usually on detached work.

It wasn’t that we as a project claimed safety, the young people felt it.

If I say the space is safe…. what might this mean if actually it doesn’t feel safe for the participant… where might they go or talk to if they want to describe the alternative? What is it that I might be claiming? And should I be?

Does safe mean – physically safe – the health and safety check

Does safe mean – physically safe – No one can enter who the other young people have been bullied by (so is this space now exclusive?)

Does safe mean – Spiritually safe – the young person isn’t going to be ‘encouraged/manipulated’ into believing something, just because they got free snacks?

Does safe mean – safe to express contentious views?

Does safe mean – avoidance of risk?

Does safe mean – all the policies, including safeguarding are up to date?

Does safe mean – just not ‘unsafe’? In which case, its a bit redundant..

Who decides the safe thing though?

More to the point, who should be the ones deciding, or claiming that a place is safe?

If a homeless group of young people attended your evening drop in once, would they say it was safe? This could take months and years for them to make this assessment, because they trust the people and what is on offer, it regularity and they respect they receive in that space.

Claiming safety because of training, policies, comparison to other places – could silence those who want to have experience difficult behaviour within it.

As someone who has experienced emotional abuse, acknowledging the need for safety is important. I know where and when I have felt safe. The last place I would go to ‘feel’ safe is somewhere that claimed it and I had no evidence for it.

It goes back to power. Who has the power to determine what is, or isn’t safe. Abusive people hide behind as many courses and programmes and religious institutions to validate themselves and claim safety, yet those who have been abused by them.. have no where to go…. Survivors of abuse can often detect unsafe people a mile off.

‘Safe’ shouldn’t be banded around as if its the new ticket for community or healthy or educational spaces, all of which could be amazing and good, and informative and challenging and inspiring.

If there even needs to be an alternative. What about Brave?

Yes. Brave.

Brave spaces not safe spaces.

Because, we, you and I are all brave in creating this space, you are brave for attending it and participating, or volunteering in it – we are all brave together. Maybe you are brave for reading this?

Brave to make the space as welcoming and hospitable as possible

Brave to accept people for who they are

Brave to let there be vulnerability

Brave to try things, try new things.

Brave to be challenged, brave to say yes or No

Brave to accept failings, brave to acknowledge gifts, brave to see everyones humanity in the space.

Brave to accept emotions, brave to disagree, brave to have conflict that gets resolved, brave to be quiet, brave to make noise.

Brave to share pain and ‘the real’ , brave to feel happy, light and free.

Brave to belong.

Brave means ‘we’ we are brave together. , Safe potentially means ‘I’ and ‘You’ because both I and might feel different about safe.

Can you see why ‘Safe’ could be a problem word? Lets not throw out the good intentions of being safe, safer for and with our communities, absolutely not. I just wonder whether ‘safe’ has become not only over used, but also something that needs to be very carefully thought about in its use.

I do want to thank Jen Johnson for inspiring me on this post, as she and her husband Dave inspire me always as they live, reflect and create community in Byker, Newcastle. It was her FB post on this that gave me an alternative language to ‘safe’.

I found this article really helpful too: From Safe spaces to Brave Spaces

What’s interesting about this.

Is that People make Spaces Brave.

The Space is only Brave because you make it so.

That makes you, I and everyone, part of this together.

Brave people, create Brave Spaces.