Learning from the Streets

After a successful trial in the Diocese of Northampton, the church of England , with SDSF funding, have procured a fleet of Automated Robots for Spiritual Exercises for its churches across England.

The Northampton trial was initially treated with suspicion in churches as parishioners felt that having a robot to perform the essential spiritual exercises would lack the human touch, but Diane from St Anne’s church in Corby is now a fan, and the parish have taken Richard their robot to their hearts saying ;’ If God can use all things for mission, why can’t he use robots?‘ Although his manufacturing name is Richard, they have nicknamed him ‘Robocom’ as one of the robots key tasks during the pandemic has been to hygenically transport the bread and wine through the church at the beginning of the service.

With a sharp reduction in volunteers during the lockdowns, Robocom has had alot of uses, says Gordon from the PCC, ‘ Robocom can voice activate the door key system, be pre programmed to read out the notices, and is obviously a mobile table for ensuring that people with access needs can receive tea and coffee after the services’ St Anne’s church was chosen also because though very practical, Robocom is unable to operate where there are steps.

Adam Percy from SDSF explained the reasoning behind the national rollout of ARSE ministries, stating that ‘Its all about being intentionally missionally relevent in a post modern to a generation of digital natives’ .

The campaign group Churches Resistance to Automated Practices, have voiced concerns stating that ARSE is just a gateway to removing the need for Clergy completely, the Very Revd Thomas Smith, of Deeply Dipping, exclaimed that ‘Whilst I see the need for progress in the church of England, for inclusivity and embracing Digital communications and theology, especially during the pandemic, This is being rushed out, and rolled out with no consultation, Will there just be an army of Robocoms doing the liturgy and being pre programmed with a centralised sermon? Where will being relevent ever end? Surely this is just plugging a gap and not addressing the real problem? ‘

But Dianne from Corby was more impressed, she described how Robocom had been a ‘hit’ , a novelty and that it’s begun to attract new people from the church, they have worked hard in their Living, love, levers , lithium and faith sessions to establish an inclusive Robot theology, drawing from Isaiah that the ‘Ion will one day lie with the lamb’ giving rise to some in the church developing an over robotised eschatology.

One of the key outcomes for ARSE in the original trial was to develop the youth and children’s work, in St Anne’s the children’s work has grown by 200% in 6 months, and because Robocom is pre programmed to include all the resources and ready to use material by SU, Urban Saints, YFC, Youthscape and Youthwork magazine, Robocom not only attracts the kids, but , with its adaptable voice system on ‘talking to kids setting’ it can run it too!

‘All in all Robocom has been a success’ (Dianne, Corby)

Churches across the country will soon be sent their own Robocom from ARSE ministries, each will have an eternal lifetime guarantee, each is made from plastic recycled from old digital projectors, and has a 3 hour running time before needing to be charged. They are fully waterproof for outdoor mission spiritual experiences. Parishioners are encouraged to participate in ARSE training so that they can operate Robocom efficiently, effectively and intentionally, for though Robocom does not pose a safeguarding concern, misuse or malfunction can be upsetting. ‘On one Sunday morning in St Anne’s, we got the children’s talk rather than the notices in the service, George on the back row was not amused’ said Dianne.

At the time of writing, ARSE ministries have recognised that airborne ministries have been long neglected, ‘Often the message we communicate is only to those 6ft over the ground’ says Dave from the innovative mission team, ‘To respond to this pressing need, our new initiative will develop the use of Drones In Communicating (the) Kingdom, these DiCKs will provide a valuable airborne ministry, especially where Robocoms are unable to climb the stairs.’

By the way, some of this article is actually true. Robots are being trialled in Northampton, but to deliver food. Here’s where you can one in action https://youtu.be/MufmNWGVUQw

Co-op expands its robot delivery scheme in Northampton